Canada's Decision
by Auraandou007
Summary: Canada contemplates suicide, because he is constantly forgotten by everyone. Story is by me, but my sister gave me the original concept.


**(Special thanks to Hania lee's song "Suicide")**

* * *

><p>"<em>You are the pain in my throat.<em>

_When you are near me I choke_

_Everything around me is Screaming_

_Stop don't do it_

_You are the word in my heart _

_Every time I try to start_

_Everything round me is screaming_

_Stop or lose it."_

Lying down, the bed feels so soft to the skin, but it doesn't comfort me at all. Maybe the blankets and the bed don't realize I am here, that I am the person that makes the indent in the mattress. I look to my side and I see pictures of my friends. Friends? The word would echo in my mind for hours until it no longer would mean anything when said. What friends? I had none… The cold sweat sliding down the skin that nobody acknowledged. Would they notice if I were gone? Would they be saddened if they knew? Would they care that it was them that drove me to this highest extent? I shot up from the bed, and would hold my head in pain, the throbbing of my skull would sting so much, it would knock me out, dazed for hours. "Notice me…" The words escaped throughout my lips, my heart having powerful palpitations. "NOTICE ME, DARN IT!" I screamed but of course, no one heard.

I was home…

Alone…

Like always…

Even Kumajiro… that fool. Even he doesn't know me and he sits there in the back of my room, mocking me with "Who are you?"

Who? Who? I am CANADA! Stop it! Stop or Ill stop it myself!

"_I try to run but I don't_

_I try to hide on my own_

_I really do try to die_

_But I'm scared_

_To ruin your life and mine_

_Hit two birds in one straight line_

_I really do try to die somewhere"_

I ran to my drawer, stumbling in the darkness. I searched it frantically, there, I found it, a necktie; I tied it to the ceiling fan that would sit there motionless. I slipped my head through the noose and stepped from the clothes hamper that I perched myself on top. The necktie grasped my neck and would not let go. Like a lover trying to hold on to the one they love most, the one whom is going off to war. The necktie did the job and I would hang… I shook my head and realized my hand still searched my drawer. Looking at the necktie again, the fear was stricken on my face; the pain of my imagination was circling around and around. Getting me so dizzy I had to vomit in the trash can that sat next to my bed. The tears from my eyes accompanied it as they rolled off my cheek.

"_You have your hands tipped with blades_

_When you hold me I'm afraid, of being cut_

_But then I guess I'd be free_

_If you weren't human Id tense cause then all this would make sense_

_I'd know what everything was telling me_

_I try to win but I lose_

_There's no real end I can choose_

_To be let free with suicide"_

Mr. Kumajiro looked to me... I looked reluctantly back. His stare was cold and uncaring. My eyes only saw red, I screamed to him. "WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?" Then he said it, with that stupid look...

"Who…are…you?"

My eyes began to shake violently and I picked up kumajiro, throwing him across the room. I didn't answer him, I didn't want to.

I couldn't…

My breathing was hard, and very intense. The migraine I had was intensifying and I went to the bathroom, to grab the pain killers. The bottle was freezing; it stared at me and I at it. Opening the cap, I downed all the capsules in one false swoop. Swallowing the 20 or more pills, feeling them slide down my throat without water to help it. *bang* went my heart, my worries, my fears… I awoke an hour later in my bed, and I realized there were only two pain killers left. My mind continued to mess with me.

To torture me…

Why… Why wouldn't it just let me go? It was true I am scared, but being forgotten is a lot worst.

"_So now I'm just gonna do_

_What I can try to get through_

_It's now the start of a lifelong ride_

_You are the cramp in my side_

_You jab at me like a knife_

_Everything round me screaming_

_Stop don't do it"_

I was suddenly in the meeting of the countries, everyone is there, I am too, they do role call, but my name was skipped, I stood and spoke. "I am here, Canada is here" No one budge or even looked up to me. I sat back down, wrought with the pain that I didn't say anything more, that I didn't make someone notice that I was there. Thousands of times I tried, thousands of times I was never ever noticed. The pain of being forgotten, doesn't anyone know this pain? Doesn't anyone know how I feel?

Back in my room, I held a razor from the bathroom. The metal laughed at the pain, and said to me "I can take all the pain away, use me, and freight no more about life. Be free, be free, be free" the sharp razor point met my wrist, the blood rushing still in my skin, the hand reluctant to do the job.

"_My minds made up with a choice_

_For once I'm using my voice_

_Everything round me is praising_

_Please keep with it_

_I try to win but I lose_

_There's no real end I can choose_

_To be let free with suicide"_

My eyes closed, I felt the deed done, the crimson liquid dripped from my wrist to the floor. Splash it went, shattering through the barrier of fantasy. The pain and fear were all gone. Everything got fuzzy, everything was leaving. My eyes opened to see the angry and sad memories escape from the wound I caused, and down I fell to the floor. My eyes shut forever. No one would hear my voice again. No one would see the one they never noticed. Although I had let myself free, a smile was still not to be found on my face. Instead it was nothing, just what you'd expect from… death…

"Canada?"

A voice echoed from the darkness.

"Canada..."

I opened my eyes and saw England over me. I could hear the engine of a car, no… of an ambulance. The walls white, but something fuzzy and discolored could be seen blocking the white of the walls, It was America and France, there was China even Russia. All of them with the look of worry plastered on their face.

"Canada!"

I looked to England the one calling my name. He looks to me, and gives a gentle smile. "Thank god… We got you in time…" A small smile couldn't help but cross my weakened pale face. "We are so sorry Canada..."America said with a frown "We are sorry for doing this, to make you feel like you were always forgotten."

I said with a small smile "Don't worry, and…" tears fell from my eyes and I laid my head back, my eyes closed. "Thank you..."


End file.
